Sunday, May 29, 2005

The Dead Poets Society

Walt Whitman (1819–1892). Leaves of Grass. 1900.

193. O Captain! My Captain!

1.
O CAPTAIN! my Captain! our fearful trip is done;
The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won;
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

2.
O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills;
For you bouquets and ribbon’d wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding;
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head;
It is some dream that on the deck,
You’ve fallen cold and dead.

3.
My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still;
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will;
The ship is anchor’d safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;
From fearful trip, the victor ship, comes in with object won;
Exult, O shores, and ring, O bells!
But I, with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

2nd drill...awwww

as i sit down to tell of my weekend, i find myself not wanting to write it down...it seems unreal now..life moves along and things get muddled....and happiness can be taken down so quickly..ah well
so weekend:
have our last pep rally of the year, visit with BF who drives me over to the armory where i introduce him to the sgt. and then send him off for his weekend of "fun"
we leave for the castle and are driven by some nutbar who is also a sgt. and now assigned to our area...odd duck...tried to make us believe the castle had once been a mental institution and was haunted *rolls eyes* ....still....i stayed downstairs and played poker with the guys until my roommate got there with the sgt. ..silly boys...anyway, go to bed, wake up, pack up, load the van by 7:30, head to the asheville armory, where we pick up a convoy of other guard-type ppl (and when i say convoy, i mean with a hummer and everything...big MP thing with a blue flashy light and a crazy-fast driver *the same sgt. who drove me back from MEPS..amusing person, but a scary driver*) and in this grouping we arrive at the armory in Franklin, NC, and prepare for PT (btw, did i mention we got NO breakfast????) we ruuuuuuuuun in formation for a while....i kept in formation for a good chunk of the time, but had to drop out *i started watching the guys legs in front of me..kinda hyponotized me..i could breathe..i was in the zone..then i lost it and dropped out* but i caught back up several times, and finally caught the tail end before they stopped...i didn't give up, damn it!!!
then we all trotted back inside to get "freshened up" and into uniform before we progressed onto the next stage in our weekend
i had to put on a uniform for the first time.....there are TOO MANY FRIKKIN BITS TO IT!! but at least now ppl won't keep asking my rank..its right there for all to see *thanks to the wonderful BF for lending me one of his old uniforms!* and then we all ran outside and got called in to place..but first, the head sgt guy announced squad leader...unbeknownst to me, since i was a SPC, i got to be leader for first squad....scarey, but i managed
then we learned about room clearing...and then we got to actaully put what we practiced to use!! in an old building the firefighteres use to practice on....dark, sooty and nasty...we used paintball guns and had ppl hide in there and shoot at us...i got hit twice, and cried like a little girl *"suck it up princess!" thanks james :) * b/c it hurt, and my favorite sargent theatened to fireman carry me away from the building if i didn't stop *he took me aside the next day and made sure i was still ok with leading my squad, like he's supposed to..if this was real life, he'd be well within his rights to question me if he thought i couldnt handle it* but then we got to repel *we had to tie our own harnesses with ropes..it was sooooo cool* and repel down a 3 story brick building....scarey-cool...i love repeling!! and then that night we got to use these thermal night vision thingys that so totally spank night vision goggles it outrageous....really neat shit...realllly neat
then bedtime, where i get to sleep on the lovely hard FLOOR! and get woken up at 4:22 AM by a bunch of stupid girls ranting about there being a rat in the room..i soundly curse them, turn on the lights *the female sgt, (and her dog) that were sleeping with us, were already woken up* and find out that the "huge rat" is in reality a scared little fieldmouse who hopped out a window when me and the sgt. came to investigate....it takes another 10-15 minutes for the sissies to calm down *they spent 5 minutes thinking that the waterbottle shining in the cell phone light was a rat, and that it was moving* so back to sleep to be woken up by the sounds of ppl showering, and the sgt.s moving about in teh kitchen....breakfast *PANCAKES!!* packing, and then round robin PT *sheer torture* and then uniforms, formation and then more paintball, and repelling...i actaully suceeded in getting my team through on time with only 2 out of 12 down *and getting a chance to prove alpha-dog-ness on a certain irritating asshole i got stuck with who felt the need to disobey my orders, bastard..grrr..such an arrogent stupid asshole* and then the last run through, i was the only one left, but we finished it, my team worked so well *due to asshole getting shot on the first floor * so even though i was the last left and had to make sure the last room was clear all by myself, it was a very very good run...and then i got to repel Aussie style, which is painful and scary, and so much fun its rediculus..such a rush! its basically repelling face down to the ground..which happened to be 3 stories down! i only got to do it once and i was teh only girl who did, but it was sooo cool... then we march back up, eat luch, clean everything, load our stuff and assemble for final formation...usually we stand for whomever had advanced in rank, and then they recognize the 3 best leaders the whole weekend...the top one gets to dismiss the whole platoon..our head sgt. *really cool older guy, he was in teh 82nd!* talked about how the topperson did a good job with their team, and was a good person taht weekend..it was sooo embarrasing, heh..this time i got it2! i got to lead them in 10 in cadence puch-ups and then i got to dismiss them, and we all got to go home..i was blushing sooo much..hehe..then long ass van ride home to get to finally come through my front door in uniform...that made it all worthwhile...my family loved it... i really like wearing the uniform...it makes me so proud to be doing what i am...and i really think i will go active after college...i enjoy this so much...it feels right.

Friday, May 20, 2005

graduation draws nigh

a toast to passing AP english....i have a nice wholesome D this quarter and it doesn't bother me one damn bit! all i wanted to do was pass, and baby, i think i did!
*dances*
and the last pep rally of the year is this afternoon, in the gym with lots of ickle 8th graders watching...some absurd thing called Spring Fling....heh..then its off to visit with my honey and learn how to press a uniform (wink, wink) and then on to drill for May! i hope we have fun....apprently repelling, paintball, room clearing, and night ops are on the agenda! whee!
and here's to next week....last concert of the year in symphonic band, last jazz gig at WHS, senior capping, and getting out of schol a week early! not to mention community band concert and still going to work and getting paid! score!
and on a side note...drum major try-outs for the 2005-2006 season happen on thursday...and i get to judge..my vote is secret, and still depends on the proceedings, but so far, i already know who i think will be the best...on attitude, marching and conducting....and attitude counts most to me.

Monday, May 16, 2005

to josh

hon, i know you are looking forward to your new job (and your vacation!) you know that all my best wishes and love go to you as you start your new job....i have confidence in you! i hope you have a completely awesome expriance!
i miss you, and hope you and your puppy have fun!
mwah!

sleepy day

stuffed full of canadian bacon and mushroom pizza, i sit bored, restless, and vaguely hazy in my Government classroom. whyfore are we here? exams finished, 2 weeks left of school, the senior class plods through the end of the year. the rest of our year flew by, what happened to the time? but the last 10 days seem to take 100 years to pass. i listen to the dull breaking waves of conversation, imbibe of the golden, liquid summer plans and wish for the sunshine of beaches and the saltiness of the ocean on my skin. its the time of swimming and the anticipation of tans, summer sports, the sweet tang of lemonade and cold clear icy waters. Dreaming of the world beyond my classroom, i sit wistful and sun-ray deprived......i need a decent nap, curled up on a blanket atop green grass, with the sun gently baking away my stress aches and cares...any takers for rubbing sunscreen on my skin, and fetching me lemonade and ice?

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

school

ok, so i have down time before the rigors of my AP US and Comparative Government exam, oh horrors...but as i told the BF, i slacked off all last year and still got a 3 on History and 4 on English, so i should be ok, right? i mean, i can BS with the best of them, and as long as its pretty ppl like it....
anyway, so this test starts at 8:30 in the AM and won't be over until..ooooooooooh....i dunno, 3 or 4... icky..one hour lunch break, which will hopefully be spent eating and cramming for the next stage of my exam...hermm....my Stats teacher recommended i eat a peppermint as its supposed to stimulate my brain.....but than, ppl say the same thing about peanut butter....i'm more inclined to believe the peanut butter one....protien and all that...heh..
so....TESTING!!!! ick...its a college class, but i don't get to get up and leave when i am done...i have to stay the whole frikkin time...*sigh* ah well..almost out of HS, only a few more weeks until freedom...well...5 days and then BCT...heh..which would make a welcome change from SCHOOL!!!! heeheehee
love to all, i'm off......

Friday, May 06, 2005

deep thoughts

found this on my BF's livejournal.....liked it..thought i'd share..dunno where he got it from...

"It was the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press.
It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us freedom of speech.
It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who has given us the freedom to demonstrate.
It is the soldier, not the lawyer, who has given us the right to a fair trial.
It is the soldier who salutes the flag, serves under the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag."

hehehe..oops

oh yeah..might want to highlight the box on my last entry, so you can read the contents...heh....hehe

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

hermmm

Your Brain is 53.33% Female, 46.67% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female
You are both sensitive and savvy
Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed
But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

read read read!!!

READ SARAH:S NEWEST STORY!!! IT ROOOOCCCCCKKKKSSS, HARDCORE!!
go to:

windershins.blogspot.com

i LOVE!!!