more thoughts

my thanks to jason, who helped in this conversation on the grass while we were waiting at district this weekend... i was made to think..and i am grateful to you for it...

What right do I have to judge someone? And if I have no right to judge, when what right do I have to “save” someone else?
My right to judge: I do not have one.
Harsh though it may sound, to not have a right, every person has something unique in their life experience. So my perceptions should not apply totally to anyone else but myself. One should always take into account the individual. No matter how well you believe you know someone, you never have a right to judge. It is so easy to mistake someone, to under- or overestimate them. We may be allowed to “assume” things about a person, (another bad habit) based on our experience with them, but since all a person ever truly knows is their own personality and self, even assumptions are faulty. (No matter that an assumption is just an extension of an opinion, which is, “as it turns out” one of those things most people will fight to the death to avoid changing.)
One cannot also accurately judge a person’s maturity. What is maturity? A perception of the individual who is assessing. And all that individual has to measure another’s maturity against is their own maturity, which they cannot accurately judge themselves, since maturity is something that is based upon one’s perception of the people around them. All I can suppose is that maturity is built upon life-experience, and since one continues to gain experience throughout their entire life, one cannot ever fully mature.
And since I cannot judge someone, I also cannot “save” someone…..much as I may want to, I cannot shield my loved ones from the harms of the world and reality. I may want to right their wrongs for them, to “slay their dragons”, so to speak, but it is not my right. It is not my right to attempt to step in to another’s life, and help them through their own life trials. If I always attempt to do things for them, if I am always there to catch them when they fall, how will they ever learn to take care of themselves? It is hard to do this….it is hard to step back and watch someone you love make their own mistakes….it has always been my hardest obstacle with my little sister in particular. I see things that she has in front of her, and all I want to do is clear her way, to make her life, (which has been hard enough) smoother and easier. I cannot do this….I can help her, but I cannot do it for her….. taking on kids who pick on her is one thing, but trying to get her through the world unblemished, is another…she realizes what is out there, and if I attempt to steer her away from it, then she will grow to resent me for my interference, no matter how good my intentions are.