avoid this if you are easily depressed

ok, here we go, this is the hannah love-lorn posting..this is the only one, i promise...
so say that you, dear reader, are an 18 year old girl...tallish, mildy athletic (in the loosest sense of the word), leaning towards the thinnish side b/c of stress, and not horribly unpleasent to look at, but not a striking beauty either..you also have a wicked temper, which gets you into trouble, but lets face it, its the way you were raised, you either had to be the one to get the leg up, or you got trodden on, the city was no place for quiet lovely people, it was the place for people who hid thier true feelings and tried not to commit social suicide by caring... also say that you, as this girl are " in love" with a younger guy..a guy that is amazingly talented, tall, with a neat sense of humor and a beautiful vistage, he's smart and likes the oddest movies, and is..well...i once said "painfully awesome," and that seems to be the best description so far...this guy is very private, doesn't like to be touched in overly familiar ways, and hates for people to be angry with him..needless to say this guy is absolutely wonderful, and totally inaccessable...so whats a girl to do? does she hang back, keeping her mouth shut and go off to college, never taking the chance of asking this guy out, or does she take the leap, ask him out, take the chance of straining her already slightly strained friendship with the wonderful boy? its not as though said boy has ever dropped any hints to said girl, but that doesn't really matter does it? As a friend, he's charming, as a boyfriend he has the possiblity of making said girl as blissfully happy as she once was in a far-ago relationship...said girl has a problem with depression, and has taken to doubting even her closest friends, which, believe me, needs to stop...its not as if said girl is seeking a deep meaningful realtionship past graduation, she's not looking for marriage her senior year of high school...said girl is also deeply in love, absolutely, totally in love with anouther person, but she is not suited for life with this person at this time...if ever...it doesn't stop the love, but it does create a certain...impressive void...that not just anyone can fill...i'm not going to write my usually anguished immortal cry to the heavens of "why?" but i will end with this...i am tired of depression..i am tired of being lonely...i am tired of fighting.